Freedom – One Word With So Many Connotations

 

 

 

 

There are so many blogs to choose from. Anything that takes your fancy or that informs you is available on the net today. It’s sort of like having an advice bureau for free and accessible 24-7. I often wondered how it felt to be a Writer and Author.

 

Coming up with so many interesting titbits of information, stretching the mind beyond reality to create a fiction that will hold someone captivated and delving into ones past to write a Biography seemed to me to hold some kind of mystery.

 

It had been my dream to write a biography since I left an abusive and disempowering past behind. However each time I thought about starting I would tremble at the knees and become fearful of what people may think about me if they knew my story. This world at the time contained so many people that lived in constant judgement of one another. I was intimidated by the thought of laying myself bare to all who would read my book.

 

I would read someone’s biography and feel so sorry for them that the whole world now knew everything there was to know about them. I wondered how they could sit and write and relive the moments over again. Did the words flow easily or did  Hair transplantation in turkey they stumble through paragraphs slowly and painfully. I felt like a coward hiding behind these people who were so brave, that to all intents and purpose had left the past behind. Could I do it? Was I brave enough to take pen to paper?

 

I had dealt with my past and put it behind me. I did not want to go back there where all the hurt and pain lived. I was enjoying where I was now. I was in a place of my own creation and loved the freedom and power it afforded me. I was the boss of me. It felt so good. So why was I even considering this journey into the abyss of darkness and despair?

 

I to my delight have a wonderful gift. When I was a mere child, many of the kids used to tell me their problems. The truth is I am not really sure whether it made a lot of difference but when during the course of the day we would come in contact, I would receive a smile and secretive look from the person who had confided in me. It was almost as if they now did not have to carry the burden on their own. As I got older and became an adult people still seemed to love confiding in me. I used to joke with my friends and family about having the words “confide in me” written on my forehead.

 

As the years past it became obvious to me through the thanks and tears that I had been given the gift of communication. I could answer questions that were asked of me without prejudice. The answers seem to come to me from a secret place where only the person that I was talking to and my Higher Self resided. I would sometimes feel the longing from someone I was passing or in the same room with. I was compelled then to approach them and start up a conversation.

 

This then is how I became convinced that if I wrote a book I would be able to reach many more people. I could share with them my life story and then they could use it as a catalyst for whatever place in their lives they had become stuck. Hopefully I could help them realised that pain and anger were not unique to them alone. Many people who had lived disempowering and abusive lives still took responsibilities for their now actions maybe it would encourage them to do the same.

 

My book Now I am Free took many years to compile even though once I started writing it only took me one year to put it all down on paper and send it to the publishers.

 

All the while my husband was by my side. Encouraging as tears flowed from my eyes like water from a burst dam. I used more bad language than a sailor making it possible to rewrite the dictionary. I pulled out hair by the hand full and almost needed a hair transplant. I gave him looks that said this is your fault, and don’t tell me you were not there at the time, that is exactly the reason I am so p###ed with you.

 

As the days flew past he would change his tactics to keep me focused. Who shall we get to play you he would ask maybe Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt could play me. I would then remind him that they were adults and I was a child at the time, and also that he was not part of the story at that time. This then became our banter each day and before I knew it my book was ready for the publishers.

 

Believe me you do not want to keep going back to the past. I reread my book over 20 times as I sifted through the words looking for spelling mistakes, wrong dates, ages that did not line up with the situation. When I wrote my book it was like the ramblings of a person slightly deranged from reality. I wanted to throw the thing away or even better burn it. There is no benefit to me you or anyone else to keep going back into the past. Nothing can be changed except our ability to focus on this moment now and release all of the past.

 

I know that we say that our past is what made us. But in reality what you believe now is all that matters. If what you believe now does not empower and uplift you then it is time to change those beliefs irrespective of who taught them to you. You cannot consistently live your life from the perspective of someone else. The circumstances and even the situations are different. They may appear similar but there is not only one conclusion to every problem. What worked for them may not work for you. So discover your own truth. Sift through the contrast appreciate life from both sides of the spectrum. Stop blaming your inability to achieve and receive on the past. If you want a life of joy and fulfillment then you have to start making choices with your feelings. Trust them to always lead you in the right direction.

 

No university studies, no serious religion just joy. Therein lays the truth for all of us.

 

 

Years ago I Had a dream to become an  Hair transplantation turkey  Author so that I could help anyone who wanted to change their lives on their own time without pressure from those around them. I was attracted by the “what if ” bug. Maybe I’m not ready was my excuse, what if it is rejected became my fear and I’m so busy I have no time became my mantra. Then one year ago I took the bull by the horns and plunged in. No more excuses or procrastinations. Well here I am today a published Author through a Division of Hay House my dream come true even down to the publisher.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.